Phase I-Back story
So chipmunks are cute.
They are also destructive little rodents.
If we had more raptors around we’d have less destructive little rodents.
But we don’t so we have to get rid of them some other way.
The chipmunks undermining the foundation of our home in Oak Creek apparently are immune to rat poison.
In fact, it appears the rat poison has caused them to multiply at a rapid rate.
Yes, the babies are cute.
They are also destructive little rodents that will become slightly larger destructive rodents.
No, my wife did not approve of the rat poison.
No, I did not enjoy trying to kill them.
Phase II-Lots of chipmunks
Wife: “The chipmunk problem is getting worse. I can hear them digging when I’m on the patio.”
Husband: “Errrrrrrr. The bird feeders do not help.”
Wife: “No, I suppose not. Call the man who helped us with the bees.”
Husband: “Hello Jerry, can you help us with the chipmunks like you did with the bees.”
Jerry: “No. No one in the city I know of exterminates chipmunks.”
Husband: “Errrrrr. So then what?”
Jerry: “You have to trap them. My son had that problem and got three in three hours. They breed quickly you know.”
Husband: “Errrrrrrrr. “Where do I get a trap?”
Jerry: “Farm and Fleet. They sell the humane ones. You know, catch and release.”
Phase III-reporting to the wife
Wife: “Did you call the exterminator?”
Husband: “Yes. He said no one in the city exterminates them. You have to trap them.”
Wife: “Then what?”
Husband: “Some people drown them.”
Wife: Scowl, body language not positive. “They are cute.”
Husband: “Some people release them far away from their homes, like in someone else’s yard.”
Wife: “Are you going to go and buy a trap?”
Husband: “Since the rat poison didn’t work and no one will exterminate them I guess I’ll have to.”
Wife: “Good, because if you just fill up their holes they will burrow inside our house because they can’t get out.”
Phase IV after paying $34.00 for a small trap.
Gal at check out: “Squirrels or chipmunks?” (Not paper or plastic, what the hec?”)
Gal at check out: “They are cute.”
Husband: “They are also destructive little rodents.”
Gal at checkout: “I feed them. They are cute.”
Gal at check out: “What are you going to do with them when you catch them?”
Husband: Showing amazing restraint here since it was clear she thought I’d either eat them or drown them. “Not sure.”
Gal at check out: Giving me the you are a murderer if you drown them look. “They are cute.”
- The Relocation of Chipmunks – 1, 2, 3 … (twila.me)